Is it mean for a grandmother not to send a granddaughter a gift for Christmas?

It sounds definitely pive aggressive, that she won't wrap gifts or say anything to you, her own daughter, on your birthday and ESPECIALLY that she doesn't send a toy for a 3 year old grandchild. That is so fun and easy for grandparents, most really love that aspect of grandparenting. I know I'm looking forward to it. So it's baffling that she didn't send your daughter a little something for Christmas. I say, you just keep on acknowledging gifts and being a decent human being, and ignore the behavior that seems designed to get a reaction out of you. If you don't throw a fit about it, she can't win her pive aggressive game. Ignore ignore ignore.